Being married to a sailor, one question i am always asked is... How do you survive living separately? I think its the emotional dependence that they are talking about. These are from couples or friends who have probably never lived apart even for a single day. Before i met my future spouse i couldn't imagine it myself. I knew of friends who got married and continued to live in separate cities (sometimes countries!)because they worked there. (Eventually one of them got a transfer and they got together). I had wondered how or why they would want to do it. I guess I had no clue I was walking down the same road.
So how do I survive? Like I tell my friends.. Do I have a choice? So you live. You find reasons to keep your mind occupied. The first week is the hardest. The fact is you miss a person even when you are in the same house! When you are busy with your respective chores, you wonder what the other is up to...
I have learnt to switch my emotional buttons off.
But see the upside. When my spouse is back he is home. These days couples both working long hours, sometimes different shifts hardly get to see each other except during weekends which is spent buying groceries! You don't really get to see your children grow up unless you take a vacation. And also when we are away, we get our space. We bloom as individuals and yet the ties keep us together. I am not sure if that is so bad!
Besides, Distance stokes passion like winds that stoke a fire!
Well, Kalps, like you said, so you live. I, for one, in spite of the frequent misunderstandings and shouting and sulking, wouldn't care about being away from P (more, from K) for long. When I go for my long tours ( 3-4 weeks) I miss them terribly.
ReplyDeleteI decided early not to take promotions and go up in my career which would have made me miss K's life as a baby, boy and now growing up into a man. No SIR, for all the money in the world, I wouldn't miss watching my son grow up. You see, Kalps, it is all a matter of priorities. You choose, and be happy with it!
Yes i understand that. priorities it is. LIke i was sure i wanted to take a break from work when anya was born so i dint miss a thing esp of her early childhood when she was the most dependent. Now as she is slowly moving on i can let go of the kite string...
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