Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I left my two year old crying at her school today. On the first day, she didn’t know what was in store and plunged into the waters without a problem. On the second day I had to sit in her class with her clinging on to me fiercely! And then she missed few days due to a cold. So today we had gone back to her school. I convinced the admin to let me take her home in two hours for two weeks. The play group was for a duration of four hours. And we had missed the first two weeks of orientation. If she coped, we would continue else withdraw her.
Well, staying away from home is a dismal prospect for anyone, whether a two year old or a six. Hell, I had knots in my stomach when I went to college at 17 something, leaving home for the first time. As my dad left me at the hostel gate with a pat on my cheek, I put up a brave face but my heart was sinking few fathoms.
Why start school so early? I wouldn’t have if there were kids at home or in the neighborhood. Or perhaps a park where she could interact with other kids. In the absence of either, I thought a play school would give her a safe platform to learn her social skills. I would have preferred a toddler – mother group but we don’t have one in our town. It would have been a smooth transition from the protected (and pampered) environment at home to a more social arena.
It doesn’t matter the least whether she is picking up anything of educative value. For one she will have to repeat pre-pre-school next year before getting admitted to pre-school. Our priority was that she got a chance to be with kids her age rather than grownups at home. I will be more than happy if she learnt to share what is hers. Or that crying doesn’t get you much. And that there are nicer ways to communicate than shoving and biting in order to get your way!
Its hard on her and on me. But sometimes you have to swallow bitter pills to get better. The sooner she learns to get along the more fun she will have making friends. It’s a whole new world. I like her school and I know she will be well taken care of there.
But I wait anxiously for the two hours to be up. I look at the hands of the clock a few hundred times every minute. I wonder what she was doing at that moment. Until now I knew everything that was happening in her life and now suddenly I had no idea… I suddenly cannot wait to see her and take her in my arms. To console her and me.
Its time to learn to grow up and let go. Chances are that my daughter will learn that sooner and better than me. I might never learn.