Sunday, November 21, 2010

My finger tips are calloused where the strings cut the skin, as I press them hard on the fret to play the tunes from my music book... d d f g e d f… I practice my guitar.
I attended few guitar classes in 2006… before my baby and in between jobs. After a long time I picked it up again recently, my beloved guitar or rather, my husband's. So here I am, a 33 something mother of a busy body toddler, strumming at the 6 strings, totally enjoying myself. I love playing it. I could sit the whole day and practice if I had the time. Sadly, there are too many things that demand my attention and I squeeze minutes here and there practicing the chords.
I have always wanted to learn to play the guitar. It was my child hood dream. But my parents sent me to Bharatanatyam dance classes instead! I love dancing now but I hated it then. I would make faces to go to the Sunday classes when my friends stayed home watching Ramayana and Mahabharata on Doordarshan. I used to give dance performances on stage, but the introvert and shy me hated it and would sulk when my parents pleaded me to go on stage. I was good at dancing but I wasn’t passionate about it. Besides I was extremely stage shy. I have been dancing all my school days. But I never got to like it. Until I used the excuse of studies to stop performances when I reached my 12th. I stopped practicing. And have never danced except in group dances in college. No one knows I am or rather was a trained Bharatanatyam dancer. Years later as I see dances on television, I suddenly get this urge to dance. And I have even had thoughts of restarting dancing. Perhaps learn a new style of dance like Kathak or Mohiniattom. But the fancies have remained fancies. But the guitar.. That’s a different story. You might ask what I am hoping to achieve learning to play the guitar at this age?! Well... for one, it’s for purely selfish reasons. I want to learn because I want to play it!
And sometimes I wonder… what if my parents had decided to succumb to my whims and get me a guitar and perhaps I joined a class while still at a school... May be I would have become an accomplished player by now, perhaps performing on stage some where. But then again, may be I would have dropped it. The fact that I nursed the desire to play the guitar for all those years in my bosom today explodes into these exhilarating moments when I sit with the guitar. Sometimes, being denied something acts like this wind that keep the sparks of desires simmering, that bursts into a blaze at the right time…

8 comments:

Balachandran V said...

:D That's a wonderful thing, K! I too had my adolescent dreams of playing a guitar, but I could not afford to buy one then. Everyone should know to play at least one musical instrument.

Loved reading you.

Vani said...

oh didnt know abt the dance :-) well kept secret.. vani

Arun Meethale Chirakkal said...

Vow! So many in one. Poet, architect, photographer, guitarist in the making, danseuse…When I was in 5th standard or so we were all called to the staff room, one by one during interval. All of us were made to play the tabla, I was told to leave immediately, they were testing whether we had aptitude. In hostel one of my friends had a guitar, he used to strum it and afterwards claimed he played a particular tune and got kicked by one and all.

kaalpanique said...

B i totally agree, at least one instrument and one sport.. to a healthy body and mind! I hope anya picks up sm discipline!
@ vani.. yes i dont think anyone knows..
@arun. that was funny!!! well i am a humble jack of trades.. love trying out new things at the risk of not excelling in any :D

anilkurup said...

You can try it still. May be a female version of a Eric Clapton or a Mark Knofler?
When you have a passion, and the time too , dont miss out. This is a bitter lesson I carry from some past point in my life .

kaalpanique said...

Ah that would be great.. it needs lots of practise.. :)

Arjun said...

Didn't you know life begins at 30 dear? At least that's what I keep telling myself at any rate. ;) So, keep at that guitar I tell you.

And you know classical dance? As Joey would say, "Get outta here!" We need a live performance next time we meet ok? :)

kaalpanique said...

@arj... he he he.. would be fun! ammu can join me!