Sunday, June 07, 2009

My daughter is one year old.
How soon has this year passed? And how much has she changed. She can stand up and is on the verge of walking. Very soon she will be all but independent. With "parents" looking to hinder all the "fun activities". Making them go to school. Not letting them play in the rain etc etc... The hardest thing is her not wanting me all the time. And worse, she prefers to go to others over me and needs me only when she is hungry or sleepy. That’s hard when there was a time not too long ago when I was the centre and entire universe and she needed me completely and at all times. I think a part of me will die when I stop breast feeding. I hold on to that now for a little cherished one - to - one time with my baby. This is foolish sentiment knowing it’s for good. It makes her a stronger personality exposed to different people and experiences and it gives me more time to catch up on all things I had put on the back burner since her birth. But a part of me cries for the times already receding into the archives of the past. I guess its time to rediscover my life now. I must learn to let go of her tiny hand slowly. The same hand that I first saw move in a hazy black and white image during the fifth month ultrasound scan. Sigh!

2 comments:

Balachandran V said...

K, it is too early to start on this parental anxiety! :D. She is definitely going to need you for a few more years and after that you will see her flapping her wings vigourously, warming up for the flight... You are here only to ensure that your bloodline continues. When she starts flying off, sit back and look up at her - and lie down, slowly...

kaalpanique said...

its just that its so hard to let go.......sigh